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hyuuga neji

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[15 Jul 2006|10:06pm]
So, I still have not found a dorm partner.

A few weeks into school, and I have yet to actually stop and say hello to familiar faces. There is no reason for me to find anyone and I should think vice-versa. The school is still full of those annoying females who scream and hide shrilly every time they find a supposed prospective male. I would label their mannerisms superficial; yet a faint sliver of respect for these people reminds me that my judgment is perhaps too harsh, and therefore flawed.

Humans are complicated creatures. A few years ago people told me it would be better if I had opened up to a few friends, and I believed them despite being an extremely cynical person. All it brought was discomfort. In reality, it is perhaps better if we put on a front of forced sociability and keep to our boundaries. There is a line that separates the differences of people - at times, it is better to stay behind it, rather than venture and cross over.

It is no wonder how discrimination, social differences and selfhood made their name in literature and philosophy.
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[04 Jul 2006|09:06pm]

Someday we'll know.

And so, welcome back to a new school term.
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illusionary [11 Jun 2006|07:55am]
This silence is much appreciated.
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there and back [13 May 2006|04:30pm]
I have been incredibly busy for the past month or so.

I have realized something strange about humanity. We all lack passion, somewhat. Whatever we do in life is dictated by our circumstances, and our actions are determined by societal expectations. It is as though all of us, even if we possess similar personalities, all chase towards the same thing and act in a predetermined manner.

Have our opinions been squashed in our pursuit of life?

A while ago all the angst in the school served to make life an apparent pain. The absence of incidents now lead to an absence of emotion, and I think people in school nowadays lead an identical lifestyle everyday. Wake up, eat, attend school, co-curricular activities, eat, sleep. There is something very secluded about it all which we cannot break.

The play is coming out soon. Am looking forward to it.
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the eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase [12 Apr 2006|08:07pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

"And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back and descend the stair,


Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."

- "Prufrock", TS Eliot

Society is a queer thing.
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[08 Apr 2006|09:56pm]
Tenten won the girl's first event. Interestingly, I happened to win for the male's section as well, something which mildly surprises me. I admit that I have absolutely no rhythm at singing. We shall see about the second event.

School has been typical lately - nothing interesting - whether good or bad - has been happening (I've heard that Uchiha got into a fight with his brother, however.) I am however quite displeased with the basketball team - Naruto, Shikamaru and Itachi failed to turn up for the previous practice. From what I know, Itachi has been in school lately. There should hence be no reason for him to have missed practice. Shikamaru was expected. It is strange that Naruto missed practice - must find out what he was up to.

This sort of life is vaguely pleasing. I know that there are people in school who miss the drama, but I am contented to return to an empty dorm and live the night in peace and quiet.
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[02 Apr 2006|02:47pm]
Went out for dinner with Tenten the other day.

And in case the basketballers don't already know: there will be a match between us and Karakura coming soon. We need to train.

Naruto and Sasuke: we need to fix a day.

Rest of team - that means Shikamaru, Haku, Itachi and whoever I've left out: you better come for training or I'll mark you down on your attendance.

...I've realized that my posts are getting shorter and shorter.
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[27 Mar 2006|06:18pm]
This has been a rather embarrassing week.

First, someone got me drunk.

Secondly, someone signed up for the Mr KHS event for me, which I have absolutely no intention of going for. I know who did.

Life is strange, indeed.
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[19 Mar 2006|02:21pm]
I fell asleep in the garden yesterday. It seems that I drifted off while observing the stars. Upon waking up I discovered a blanket over me, something which I am both surprised and thankful for.

The place is quiet - neither Uncle nor Hinata-sama is here. At this time I have the freedom to walk around the house and not care about slippers, bowed head and formality. I am neither happy nor frightened by this peace, however. There is something ghostly about the house, the way it is held so strictly by strings of regulation so well constructed, that even when the Architects - the Heads of the family, are not present, it still stands in its supposed magnificent glory.

I feel tempted to cut these threads. I wonder how we will collapse, when we have been so accustomed to walking on these tight lines.

Private musings.Collapse )

They will return in a few hours. I must be ready.
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[17 Mar 2006|11:24pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

I do not fall sick for eight days in a row. Thankfully there is only the cough left - another day of headaches would have driven anyone to permanent brain damage. I already think that the fuzzy memory of what should have been the last week is enough testimony to the harm such pain inflicts.

I must thank Tenten for dropping by during selected days, and returning my keys.

Later, I will stop by the pharmacy to stock up on the Panadol, aspirin and Vitamin C. I wanted to do so yesterday, but there were circumstances. I got into a ridiculous argument, and I dislike conflicts. Even more so when I am sick.

And now there are rumors spreading around the entire school. Don't people have better things to do than to exaggerate hearsay?

I will return home for the weekend to avoid further displeasure from Uncle. Do not expect me to return happy.

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[15 Mar 2006|03:25pm]
Delirium, confusion, headache, pain, fever, sick.

I can only vaguely remember what happened the past few days. A noisy party, Tenten coming in, the birthday present (which Tenten, I hope you like. I cannot quite remember whether I even gave it to you, but it isn't in the drawer anymore), aspirin, water, sleep. It's blank from there.

I went out of the dorm today to get something to eat. Falling ill is not a pleasant experience. I haven't been out of the dorm for five days and I think the sun already seems much brighter from when I last saw it in the open. When I returned I discover that I forgot to take the key, and thankfully the room was open. Now that I am a little more conscious I cannot find it anywhere.

Trivial matters aside, I realized that there has been a lot which I've missed out on. Private to self, because Neji's a sick, brooding genius.Collapse )

I need to find my keys now and head elsewhere.

[OOC: Yoohooo to all~ Neji's free for plotting! :D

And yo Cat (Tenten-mun) I'm sorry but I don't think I'll be on tonight (or morning at your place). We'll finish the crack log and post it someday >D Anyway, I set this to somewhen after Tenten left the dorm to "grab lunch" :D]
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[ woe betide ] [12 Mar 2006|10:46pm]
[ mood | malaise ]

Tenten - thanks for staying yesterday night. I can't remember much of what even happened after I arrived at the party. All I can recall is this excruciating pain that seemed to be racking my head and you vaguely placing a wet towel on my head. I hope I didn't say or do anything stupid. When I woke up this morning you had already disappeared.

I have no idea why, but my temperature's still fluctuating madly from 38 to 40. The headache (ache is an understatement, though) is coming at sporadic intervals - I am only here because I have been freed from this malady for a temporary moment. I don't ever recall being this sick in my life (and the last time I remotely came down with a fever was three years ago). Must be the irregular hours, mismatched mealtimes and dysfunctional happenings adding up. I may very well have to take the next few days off. I don't even have the energy to boil water for drinking, let alone think.

I gave up on all the medication in the dorm - they don't seem to help at all.

Above all that is Uncle Hiashi's orders. He called me and questioned why I didn't return to the family this weekend; I simply said I was busy. He didn't seem pleased with me and hung up.

I shall go to bed now. I feel wrong everywhere. This must be the infrequent sick syndrome everyone talks about - double retribution for those who never fall prey to the malice of illnesses.

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[ lemondrops and gumdrops ] [11 Mar 2006|09:46pm]
[ mood | sick ]

I didn't go to school for two days in a row.

For some reason, my immune system seems to have failed and I have been reduced to nothing but a cold and a fluctuating temperature. I apologize if I missed anything - am currently too delirious to think. I even missed the Math exam.

I may pop by the end-of-term party... a sophmore just asked me why I wasn't going. I don't want people to think I stick in my room all the time.

There's a raging war in my brain now. Headaches are such painful things.

Here's Vitamin C, Panadol, and sleep.

[OOC: Okay I apologize cos I was busy the past few days >< So I just decided to make Neji sick, or it would not flow with the current plot. Gaaaah ><]

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[ impulse ] [08 Mar 2006|06:27pm]
The snake turned up again yesterday. This is shocking.

Tenten, I hope you're alright. And in all privacy to Tenten-Collapse )
Sasori-san and Lee, thanks very much for yesterday.
And Hinata-sama: well, you can guess who turned up in the corridors yesterday. You should watch out as well, for obvious reasons.

Private to self.Collapse )
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[ countdown. ] [05 Mar 2006|01:14pm]
When I get back on Monday, please excuse the mark on my face. Whoever gets slapped by your own uncle?

Private to Hinata-sama and myself.Collapse )

I feel like I'm avoiding impending chaos by a mere line nowadays. A recircuit of fate will cause much more disaster. We will all have to be careful.

Private to TemariCollapse )

Finally, private to myself.Collapse )
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brevity [03 Mar 2006|07:38pm]
[ mood | passive ]

All of us don't like others to ramble; therefore, I shall not.

Things are getting sickeningly frightening nowadays. I can feel a heightened sense of awareness - a sort of predator-and-prey instinct. There isn't much we can afford to let our guards down on. Such is the intent of murder, killing; and the will of running, surviving.

I would like to speak to some people later on, but that will come later.

Neji will not be overly contemplative. His report of the week hence ends.

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[ just there ] [26 Feb 2006|10:49pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Baked a chocolate cake at Tenten's place - was quite successful.

Then I went back home. Got back an hour later than what was usually permitted, but this time none of them cared. Until they saw the bandage on my hand and thought I got into something major. They demanded to see what it was despite me repeatedly refusing to take the bandage off. So they forced it off eventually, realized it was no big deal, and chided me for getting them worried for absolutely nothing important at all.

I seriously do not understand them.

Therefore, most of today was spent being an antisocialist by meditating in my room. I think the entire family including Hinata went out today. Uncle asked me whether I wanted to go, but I said no. He didn't ask anymore after that. It's remarkable how our relationship has transgressed into single-lined conversations. I feel that at times, my verbal conversations with my late father are almost thrice the petty talk that the entire family and me hold.

That is saying something. On a happier note, school seems to be relatively peaceful now, and I'm content.

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[ when you're back from your soul vacation ] [22 Feb 2006|09:32pm]
[ mood | meditating ]

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

I like this song. It speaks about how one can never be enough - what is it with all our insecurities? Humans are incomplete in so many ways more than one.

So many people are leaving and running away, whether physically or emotionally. Escapism - I don't approve of it, but I'm guilty of it. That's all I'm going to say. Has society morphed so much from the Shakespearean-era romance to hectic yellow taxicab life? Has it transgressed so much from spirituality to a mere rush of time? Feelings - our feelings - are all being numbed. We're forced to place ourselves behind a persona, behind an expected character.

I do not exhibit care and concern openly; this is a good time for you to question my sanity.

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

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[ ironic, indeed. ] [18 Feb 2006|11:41pm]
Once again, everyone seems to be getting visibly more stressed. I think I can finally feel what is it like to see everyone getting so frustrated over something, yet not knowing what it is.

I sense that relationships are crumbling. Who these involve, I have some ideas. When and where it all started, I have no idea. The tension in the air is disturbing. People speaking in clearly colder tones, replying with harsh formality, an air of closure around them. It is unneeded to say - these are angst and politics, all weaved into one. Of course, I don't interfere, and I should act ignorant. It is better if we all live in the pretence that we are all hiding something from each other. I can only hope that I do not get caught within its threads. Fate would be terrible to throw me into this complicated web.

It is the weekend - I go back to the family, and once again I'm faced with the prospect of cold treatment. Tonight I am to spend the time watching a movie with Hinata. It is at these times I wonder what our positions in the family are. Like many have commented, I find the rules - our rules - dysfunctional and even stupid. There are small ways which we try to go against these regulations, ways we try to break out of a conformist mould. Yet when it comes to drastic change, I wonder how is it to find my way out. I dare not disobey my uncle - there is after all a fuzzy boundary of respect and mere obedience. He is an elder, after all.

How much trouble are we all willing to suffer, to realize who we all are?

I do not wish to discover.
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[ to forever ] [17 Feb 2006|02:37pm]
In short, this week has been a good one. The hospital says my head's getting better and the bandages can be taken off in two weeks or so, I feel that I can catch up with lessons, and the dance... was not a bad thing.

While I am still rather confused regarding the family's hoo-ha the past week, I've stopped thinking about it. The head of family has chosen to ignore me whenever I ask him something, and he treats me as though I am transparent. He doesn't even care if I fail to greet him. There is something which I or otherwise have done to offend him, and today it was made clear. Uncle Hiashi sent me a letter telling me that he was "thoroughly displeased", something about "one disaster will surely come after the next". The entire letter is gibberish which I can barely understand, but I am actually relieved that he's not probing or controlling my life. I hope Hinata has the same luck.

I wonder if he sent people to spy during the Valentine's dance. Hinata says she noticed nobody, but I do know he's sending people around. He even gave me a new phone, which I have kept OFF at all times. Rebellion is not something common to me. However I feel that there is only a certain extent which he can keep things hidden, and I dislike being watched like a caged bird all the time.

Other than that, this week has been pleasurable. As for Valentine's Day, I do think I've stepped out of limits - and out of bounds - somewhere, but I actually enjoyed it. (You who read this should know what I talk about.) Affection is a queer thing, and love is too short a word. I must not launch into poetry right now. It is appropriate, but too abstract. If you are reading this... thank you.

The family is still restrictive, but right now I actually think I'm getting somewhere.

OOC note.Collapse )
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